One of the first words a child learns is the word “no.” Ask any two-year-old if they want an ice cream cone, and they’ll say “no” even as they reach for it. They know the word; they know it’s a way to express their burgeoning independence. But sometimes they’re not quite clear on its meaning. […]

“That sounds so selfish.” That comment is voiced regularly in my office and I’m delighted when I hear it. It shows me that there’s some awareness of a feeling that’s uncomfortable enough to examine. Usually, the “that sounds so selfish” question comes from the belief that the wishes of others should come first. That’s the […]

Late last summer I had to change my route from home to wherever I was headed. The most expedient, convenient, logical way from my house to the main thoroughfare was inaccessible. My road was closed. I could no longer take my familiar way through by driving around barriers or outwitting the road construction. A new […]

Really? You said you’d call and you didn’t. Did I make that up? Oh, no, I have the text right here. I’m not crazy. Are you avoiding me? Or, did you forget? If you forgot, how can I show up enough for you to remember me? Or, can I? If I bring it up, this […]

There are no tigers in my back yard, no snakes about my feet. Yet there it is—that protective sense deep inside my brain that generates fear. It’s that reaction that comes as an inheritance from the long line of those who have come before me—ancient cave dwellers, medieval servants, settlers on the frontier. Foes today […]

Thirty minutes flew by last week when I was being interviewed by my friend and colleague, Donna Parker. She’s an acupuncturist and health coach with a radio show—way cool. I hope you’ll listen in as we discuss thinking and feeling at the same time, ways we recreate upsets from the past and simple solutions to […]

Five years ago I wrote and published a book, Sweet Relief from the Everyday Narcissist. At the time, it was a heart-felt offering of support for people who find themselves stymied by their relationships with folks who are perpetually displeased with them. It was the “amen” to relationships I’d encountered that provided me a curriculum […]

Scratching around for what to fix for dinner, I pulled shrimp out of the freezer and asked my daughter to marinade them in something. As she poured Ponzu over the shrimp, she asked “Is this a ‘wing-it’ marinade”? Since she tends to cling to rules (unlike her mother-maybe it skips a generation), cooking without a […]

Well, I had it for a brief moment. Thank goodness I lived on a farm for 20 years. I learned to temper my frustration by accepting that maintenance takes the most time. By spending more time filling tanks, sharpening blades or replacing bolts than I spent mowing, I learned to slow down and take one […]

My favorite memory of Valentine’s Day is a white paper sack that I carefully decorated when I was a second-grader. I cut out construction paper hearts, added stickers, and doused the whole thing with glitter. It was for collecting Valentine’s cards from my classmates and friends. It was filled to the top, and I felt […]